Monochrome Oblivion
by A kittie boi
Summary: meeting in the next life is going to be a challenge. M for safety. Do not own KH! D:
1. Prologue

"No one would miss me."

"That's not true! I would..." – _Roxas and Axel, The World That Never Was_

Orange-blond spiky locks, steely rain-blue eyes with tan yet somehow pale skin. Mouth unsmiling, holding a grimace of pain with every word spoken. Shoulders straight, painfully so, muscles stiff with aggravation. Face twisting, only for a moment, into hatred. Then the cold exterior returns, the boy is no longer human, instead of someone you thought you knew, he is a bitter stranger. The worst part is that you don't realize he really is human, you've only ever seen him emotionless. You don't know who he is, if he appears sad, or angry or afraid, when he breaks down crying, or clutches you in a brief second of weakness, it doesn't register it's him. Affection from him is like poisonous candy, because you know it can't last, you know he will pull away at any time, to leave you alone in your room like nothing happened.

He won't mention it when he slams you into the wall, the next day. He won't say anything while he shoves his tongue down your throat, or splatter your revealed skin with kisses. You'll moan, he'll give you reactions, let you groan, let you rise so that you'll let him do this. Why, you've asked him, over and over, but he doesn't tell you, he never has. His eyes won't meet yours, they'll trace your flesh, he won't let you touch him, but he'll touch you, grind against you to make you scream. You can't run your fingers through his hair because he'll tense then leave you, so you remain still, writhing beneath him, completely helpless.

This should bother you, it would bother someone – anyone else, but it doesn't for some reason. A reason is perhaps you don't have a heart, don't feel emotions. Then again, neither does he, but it shows more in him than in you. Is that a good, or bad sign? Does that make you more human than him? You think it does, but you're not sure as you slice down another enemy without flinching. You lick the blood – your blood – from your lips, grinning sadistically as they pay for making you bleed. Their screams make you pause, because you are remembering, but it doesn't last long. They are dead before you even realize you've killed him. You know he's been doing this to you, it's not your fault, because you never were this heartless, you had something like it, you had a conscious once. But he took it away, strangled it, threw the corpse into Kingdom Hearts just like he'd of done if you'd had a heart to do that to.

He is an enigma, one that you wish you could figure out, but you can't read him, you can't predict anything about him. You stalk him in a pastel effort to find out more about him, but it doesn't work because you follow him through routines. Through pre-set routes that you know so well yourself. He doesn't even mix it up, going to a different planet first, but follows the list, efficient then he returns. He turns to you, you can tell he knows you're following him, but he doesn't say a word. Instead he walks down the hall, stopping at your door, waiting for you to open it, for you to go first. He doesn't smirk, or say 'ladies first', but he simply waits. You wish he'd be different, you wish he'd crack, then he does and you're suddenly regretting it, not knowing what to do. But the rough hands that tear off your jacket make you stumble, so you fall against the bed. You wait, letting him tear off the material, slide out of his own and let the rest just wash over you. But the moment he begins to pound into you, it all comes rushing back and when he twists around in you, your mouth opens and you scream. Night after night your throat is shredded into stringy pieces, but it's always fine when you wake up. This you can deal with.

He's there when you wake up. When did he start to do that? How long has he been staying after each fuck? You don't remember, but you also don't mind. It doesn't mean _anything_, but perhaps he's trying to make it seem like _something_? You push away the thought, falling back into dreamless sleep, even as you feel him wake to snuggle against you. His lips brush against yours, the weight on the bed shifts and he sighs. He's gone before you've completely drifted to sleep again. When you wake the second time, you're alone, but somehow you find that easier to deal with. It reminds you that this is a game, it doesn't mean anything, it is just a slight comfort, an escape for two restless Nobodies. Not that you really know if he's restless or not, but something tells you he is. Perhaps your memories of your heart says this, tells you that he is searching for something, but is in pain because of it. You know you are the greater escape. You know he needs you, more than you need him.

Number XIII Roxas. You have no idea who he is, or what you are to him. But you finally realize, when he leaves, that you can't survive without him. So that's where you are, searching for him, the little success you're having is driving you surely insane. You stand at the beach of Twilight Town, finally at a loss, holding a sea-salt ice cream in your hand. It's untouched, melting in the fading summer heat. Your long black coat and fiery hair draws attention, but you ignore them, opting instead to stare into nothing while your ice cream continues to melt, dripping onto the warm sand. The despairing idea he's already been captured, or killed by the Organization, or some other lower ranking Nobody squad passes through your head. You push it away violently, refusing to give into your angst-riddled thoughts. The soft crunch of boots in sand makes you jerk around, but it isn't him, it's another wearing an Organization coat. You turn away in disgust, but when he speaks you find yourself stunned, almost afraid. That isn't possible, for you to fear, but something close to it wells up in your throat, preventing speech. The man in the coat tells you where HE his. But you don't have time to thank the man, because you have turned violently, and torn your way up the beach, heading for the train station. You don't use the darkness, or the Organization would be able to track you. The effect is you panting as you open the train station doors and stride to the Ticket Booth. This is most likely why he used to walk around the base, as well as the worlds he investigated. Stamina. Something you don't have, outside of a battle anyway.

You stare out the train window. The town comes into view, the sight makes a smile creep up onto your features. Twilight Town. This is where Xemnas found him, the place you should have looked first. Now that you think about, you're not sure why you didn't. You shrug that off as the train stops. You're in the back, but you're the first one off, with a speed that most people would envy as you take off down the street. You run through Station Heights, then to Market Street. You follow the trolley route. There it is. The small crack in the town wall, the one that lead to the Woods. You walk along the path, catching your breath. The Old Mansion comes into view, making the place where your heart should have been, jump. You stop, clutching your chest. What was that? You finally decide you're excited.

You didn't make it in time, he didn't know you, DiZ had warped his memories. You tried. You really tried, your hardest, you even tried to defeat him, all to no avail. He was still better than you, even if he had no memories of using his Keyblades. You faded away in the darkness, asking to meet in the next life, knowing well Nobodies didn't have a next life. But you were looking for his answer, which he gave easily.

"Yeah."

You replied that he was silly, saying that just because HE had a next life. You trailed off, vanishing into the darkness, avoiding his rain-blue eyes. It was hilarious. You could of laughed until you fainted from lack of air, or cracked a rib on the laughter that never came. Next thing you knew, after wandering aimlessly in the darkness – avoiding Saïx – you were at the side of his Somebody, protecting him from Dusks. Your final attack, one you didn't have to perform, took everything out of you. You probably weren't thinking clearly, the encounters with him too fresh in your mind. You poured it all out, every emotion you didn't feel, into that one attack. His Somebody – Sora – knelt at your side, stating the obvious. You were fading. You gave a choked laugh. He gazed down at you with something close to pity, making you look away. You apologized about the girl – Kairi was her name, then feel silent.

"Axel, what were you trying to do?"

You wanted to see HIM. You went on to explain why, while Sora just watched you. You apologized for Kairi again, but Sora shook his head. He said that when they got her, you could apologize yourself, making you give a faint laugh again. He was avoiding the fact you were dying, trying to keep you from thinking about it. Touching, to say the least, you thought, smirking. But you shook your head, turning to him. Your neck seared in protest. You said you thought you'd pass, saying your heart just wouldn't be in it. You reminded him you didn't have one. Sora bit his lip, still watching you. Something in the brunette's eyes flashed, making you think of Him. You turned away, eyes closing till they were half-lidded.

"Axel..." Sora – no, He, whispered. You looked back and summoned a portal as your final act. Then you felt nothing, even less nothing than usual. Your form curled like smoke, then you vanished, faded. Gone. Forever – after all, Nobodies don't have next lives.

Roxas had been devastated when he joined with Sora, memories of Axel, the man's death stabbing into him like physical blows. Demyx's death too, was like a wound. Sora could feel Roxas' pain, but he couldn't do anything about it, nor did he know why, until Roxas shared a few of his memories of the two. Sora had lived the memories, just as Roxas had lived Sora's, the experience was anything but pleasant. Afterward, Sora felt sick about killing Demyx, Axel's death sent him into serious mourning. Neither Kairi or Riku knew what was wrong, or what to do about it. They watched him endlessly making both Sora and Roxas uncomfortable. Finally Sora vanished, leaving neither with any clues as to where he was, he'd abandoned them for the peaceful solitude Roxas sought. Sora too, was grateful for it.

Roxas had wanted to watch the sunset. Twilight Town's sunset was the best of any world, consider the town was shadowy anyway. Sora obliged, but Roxas had broken, crying and raging in Sora's mind. The brunette had no idea how to calm down the other. Memories, ones Roxas hadn't sent willingly, engulfed Sora, memories of Axel, memories of Demyx. The three of them – Sora almost screamed when he felt Axel's lips against his in a particular memory, or Demyx's arms around him in another. One thought had laid in their minds after Roxas asked a question. _How much of The World That Never Was still existed?_

The visit was a blur, Roxas had used darkness to transport them there. It had been uneventful, until they'd stumbled onto the Proof of Existence room. Roxas had taken one look at Axel's red stone before looking up. Sora didn't have enough time to summon a Keyblade as the mass of left over Dusks and Dancers overwhelmed Roxas and him. Together they floated through darkness, with Roxas remarking he didn't quite want to know what it was like to die just then. It was, however, much better than just simply... Fading. Sora wasn't sure he could agree, but didn't argue with his Other. They drifted for who knows how long, before a light appeared at the end of their darkness. Roxas peered through it, nearly having a heart attack when images flashed through his mind. Sora caught his shoulder, but his eyes traveled into the white abyss. Suddenly, drawn in by an unknown force, they tumbled into the whiteness.


	2. One

"Let's meet in the next life."

"Yeah. I'll be waiting." ─ _Roxas and Axel, Twilight Town_

Music pulsed all around him. He wanted to look, to stare at the invisible dancers that swirled around him, moving in rhythm to the beat of his iPod. The strange pale pinkish-orange and white dancers moved as if slaves to the sound pounding in his head. They followed him everywhere. They moved just in vision, flickering when he stared straight at them. Sometimes though, when he was alone and it was dark, he could see them clearly and he'd sit and watch them for hours. He called them Dancers, because they danced, endlessly and forever moving with unheard music. Often he'd find himself lost in their hypnotic movements – but something held him to reality, something he hated. Because reality was far too clear for his liking.

"Roxas!" a voice called. He turned, feeling himself slipping as the figures faded back into the twilight. Olette came running up smiling, but Roxas' cold gaze fixed on her and she froze. She gave him a tiny smile, though it trembled, and Roxas turned away, hiding his disappointment. After a long silence, it seemed that Olette had forgotten why she'd interrupted his solitude. Satisfied he could get away, Roxas attempted to walk away, but Olette's voice stopped him.

"Roxas," she whispered. Roxas stilled, tense. He turned back angrily, eyes holding ice shards that pierced into her. Olette stepped back but reached out for him. "... Are you coming over to study...?" she asked him tentatively. Roxas turned away and shook his head sharply. Olette looked as if she wanted to say something more, but she didn't. Instead she stepped away with a small, "... Alright... See you." then she ran off, head lowered. Roxas didn't watch her, he didn't care. If she stopped her silly infatuation with him, that was all the better for him – and her, he reasoned. There was no guilt as he stalked off, still angry. His mindless footsteps brought him to Market street: Station heights, and to the job bulletin. He stared at without seeing it. The music hammered in his ears and deep in his chest. He sighed roughly, wishing – not for the first, or final time – he could hold alcohol, or could stand smokes. Since neither was true, he found himself in a particular situation of angry depression. Something he took out on his 'friends'. He reasoned they deserved it for trying to get involved with him, when it was obvious he wanted to be left alone. Olette didn't like loners, and she tried to give him a happy outlook. It hadn't worked. Not even slightly.

The sky darkened, then rumbled. Roxas glanced up. Instantly he was soaked as a sudden – if not vicious – onslaught of rain poured down onto him. Tears. That's what the rain reminded him of, be it tears of laughter, or tears of sadness, or even... joy, it was still tears. His thinking was cut off as he bumped into a stranger. He looked up, ready to shout and then run for his life. Shocking green eyes held him. Those eyes stared at him, boring down into his soul, but from their glazed state, Roxas thought the man the eyes belonged to – wasted. Turning quickly, he bolted. Heartbeats pounded like furious drums in his ears, matching the sounds of his iPod. The dancers had vanished – reality coming in too close for them to exist. Then it faded, and Roxas wondered why he was running. He hadn't done anything wrong, only bumped into the man, and he was going to apologize. Just... damn, the man had startled him – thrown him off balance, if you will. Breathing in harshly, Roxas ceased his walking. The world in front of him swam. It darkened, then the ground rushed up faster than it should of, and he fell to his knees breathlessly. He turned – hair dripping – at the footsteps.

"Hey, you gonna apologize?" Green eyes asked with mirth. Roxas looked away, panting. His forehead was burning, along with the rest of his flesh. It seared when he moved, so he attempted to keep as still as possible. Green eyes asked another question. Roxas barely heard it. "Hey, you alright? Blondie?" the nickname made Roxas twitch. He turned back, prepared to defend his honor against such a nickname. Those green eyes captured him – again. This time bright red hair accompanied them, red triangles lay just beneath the man's intense eyes, followed by a straight nose and covered in tanning skin. Mouth dry, Roxas backed away slowly, staring. The other was frozen, arms at his side though one hand clutched a cigarette. Unable to say anything Roxas felt his knees weakening further, so he bolted. He crawled away, gaining strength from the movement he stumbled up and ran. He felt only the pounding of the sidewalk. He heard only his own breath. He knew only the pounding of his heart. The man's shouting did little to reach out to him, and he ran.

"H-Hey! Kid, come back here!" Green eyes shouted. It was futile, Roxas was already down the street, turning the corner. He was gone. Green eyes exhaled, running his free hand through his hair, the cigarette going back into his mouth. He puffed on it in irritation. _Who was he...?_ Green eyes wondered, turning. He didn't try to follow the kid, knowing he didn't know the city well enough to. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to ever see that kid again anyway, so... what was the point? Something in him screamed differently. That same part of him was killing its lungs telling him to go after the kid, otherwise he'd miss his chance. Again. _Again... What am I missing...?_ Green eyes hunched against the wind, which was bitterly cold. Green eyes glared up at the sky, which slowly let out soft white snowflakes. He grumbled. "... I hate winter." Then he was on his way, the face of the boy haunting him with each step. Would he ever see him again? Would he like it if he didn't? Green eyes closed those eyes, and breathed out smoke.

Meanwhile Roxas didn't stop once he was out of sight of the man. He kept going, stopping when he'd entered the apartment and curled up on his bed. Running had kept reality at bay. Now he was at its mercy, alone and still. It hit him like a physical blow, the dreams he'd tried to push away rose up and consumed him. He dreamed that night, his homework forgotten on the table where he'd left it, finished and pale against the dark wood.

Bubbles were white against the empty blackness around him. Roxas slowly opened his eyes, holding his breath, sure he'd drown if he didn't. Amazingly he found he didn't need to breath, his chest didn't move in rhythm and he felt no worse for it. He opened his mouth, but no water rushed in. Curiously he sucked in. Only air filled his lungs. Nothing more. Surprised, Roxas realized he must be dreaming, and that it wasn't a drowning dream. He looked around, feeling weightless as he drifted in the direction he assumed was down. He couldn't be sure though. In this inky nothing there was no sense of time or direction – nothing except the feeling of floating, of being perfectly at peace and open. Truth drifted down with him, making Roxas want to reach out. He couldn't so he didn't. He hated reality, he shunned it, pushing it away for as long as he could. As long as he could live without it, then he could survive. He could face the next day as long as his illusion still stood, a wall to keep him in, to keep them away. So long as he could pretend, then he'd be safe.

Then it stopped. He turned and he felt solidity under his feet. Beneath him the floor gave way to doves, and a green light. He glanced down at the stain glass picture beneath him. It was of Sora, and his friends. He held memory cards in his hand, the Keyblade in the other. Roxas looked up and watched the doves slowly fade into the darkness. Then swiftly he awoke. Bright light filtered through his windows, and outside pidgins flew. Breathing softly, he felt something slip down his cheek. Exhausted he touched the warm wetness. It was a trail of tears – he let them trail down his face, not understanding the motive behind the crying. He settled back against his pillow. Outside it was just dawn, and the Bell Tower rang out sharply making the birds scatter and fly up to reflect the rising sun. Roxas looked up just as they passed his window. For a moment they looked like doves. He blinked and it was gone.

Roxas slid the familiar white headphones back into his eardrums. The dancers began their smooth moves. Feeling the drumming of his feet pounding against the pavement, then the dirt, Roxas found himself calming. The whirl of thoughts faded – becoming the dull rhythm of his movement, the swinging of his arms and the pulsing of his heart. They came again, hot and fast as a scene painted itself for Roxas.

"_Your mind's made up?" "You can't turn on the Organization!" "You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!"_

"_No one would miss me."_

Roxas drew in a sharp breath. He stopped running abruptly. Images flashed through his head at light speed, he only caught one: Himself and Green eyes, standing alone in a strange city Roxas had never seen before. They wore black coats. The sky was dark and it was raining, thunder rumbled, lightning flashed once. On that flash Roxas got an up close view of Green eye's face. He was smirking, then another blond walked up laughing. His hair was dripping.

The image vanished. Roxas gasped, he was standing at the bus stop, alone. Shaky he sat down, terrified to loose himself to his thoughts again. It was fifteen minutes before the other students came to wait with him. Olette glanced at him worriedly, and came to sit by him. Roxas bit his tongue, refusing to talk. She did enough for both of them anyway. Roxas stood up, seeing the bus. He grabbed his backpack and was the first at the doors. They opened to admit him. He didn't glance at the driver, instead he took the first available seat, not letting Olette sit with him as she tried. The attempt failed, she sat next to Pence. He actually returned her conversation. Roxas looked out his window, and started. He saw Green eyes, who was walking past. The man didn't know he was there, and kept walking without looking up, making Roxas' heart clench. He had to force himself not to knock on the window – so the man would look up. So their eyes could meet. Bitting his lip, Roxas slammed himself against his seat. Every muscle in him trembled. The worst part? He didn't understand WHY. He knew he'd seen himself, and Green eyes and that other blond. But, who were those two? Roxas wondered if the blond was his imagination, and the scene had been his own demented fantasy. It was a pleasing option at that point.

School went by fast. A blur. Roxas wasn't sure if he'd actually held his breath the whole day, at how fast it went by, maybe he'd open his eyes, and he'd still be in calculus. But when he did open his eyes, he was in his last class, which was moments from ending. Exhaling softly, Roxas looked down at what he thought were his notes. Instead he saw a sketch of himself in a black coat. Swallowing thickly, he felt his eyes trace the sketch. The bell rang. Looking up he felt the world spin around him. His classmates blurred, walking faster than they should, or slower maybe? Shaking his head Roxas stood up. He gathered his notes, but was the last one out the door. Faster then, he decided.

"Roxas?" Olette asked. He didn't stop, opening his locker. Nor did he reply. So she continued. "Are you alright?" Roxas slammed the locker viciously. Despite her being annoying – Roxas faced her – and troublesome, she was unnaturally perceptive. Cunningly so. No, Roxas thought with a small sigh, she was just a girl. He looked at her briefly.

"... Yeah." He regretted speaking to her, and turned away quickly. Ignoring her shouts of protest he walked down the sidewalk. He sensed her pursuing. Gritting his teeth at her persistence, he broke into a run that moved him only on instinct. Olette soon fell behind, unable to match the maddened strides of her friend. She panted unhappily. Pence came up behind her and invited her on a shopping trip, which she instantly accepted. The two soon forgot about Roxas.

Skidding to a stop, Roxas leaned against the nearest building. He idly wondered if he should take up track. Something flashed on the edge of his vision. He looked up. It was apparently the café sign. Crossroad, it read. Glancing in the window, Roxas saw red hair. Spiky red hair. He wasn't aware he'd busted open the door and strode down the aisles of tables, not until he stood behind the head of offending hair. It wasn't him. This hair was longer, in a scruffy ponytail. There were goggles fixed too, Roxas could see the strap around the man's head. Feeling put-out somehow, Roxas turned to go. Then the man turned. Roxas blinked. Next to him was another red head, equally long hair, but down. Roxas felt his eyebrows push together, were they twins? He wondered. They both looked a lot like Green eyes... they all had green eyes. The door gave a ding.

"... kid?" Roxas froze. A hand gripped his arm and turned him roughly. There were those same eyes – those haunted green eyes, so intense. There were the red triangles. There was the unruly spikes of brilliant crimson hair, the mouth made for smirking. Roxas felt his knees go weak again. The men behind him turned.

"Axel!" Came two conjoined voices. Green eyes didn't react, he stared at me instead. The men grunted in irritation. One of them stood, the one on the outside with the ponytail. He turned, disgruntled. Then he saw me. His eyes widened. "... hey cutie, you know Axel?" He asked. _C-Cutie?_ Roxas thought blankly. His eyes flickered away from Green eyes – Axel's – then back. Axel's eyes were searching. Their gaze pierced into the blond, making him twitch, but he didn't turn away.

"... Axel..." Roxas whispered. Then he pitched forward, world going black. The dancers whirled erratically around him, but Axel shooed them away. He could see them, Roxas realized slowly, his mind then died. He felt the strong arms around him, but everything was dark. Gone. _Nobodies... Nobodies don't have a right to know. _"I have a right... to know..." Roxas whispered weakly. Axel blinked, but Roxas was out again. The two men crowded around.

"Axel, who's he?" Axel shrugged helplessly. He looked up.

"I have no fucking clue." He muttered. The men stopped, looked at each other, then back at Axel. The latter glared. "Reno, Lae, stop looking at me like that!" They looked away guiltily, but only a little. Axel picked up the blond and sighed. "Pay the check one of you." then he was out the door, ignoring every glance/stare/glare thrown his way. He looked at the little blond in his arms. The icy wind made him shiver. "I have no fucking clue... Roxas..." He whispered. Around him the dancers moved worriedly around the little blond. He glared at them, daring them to try and take the boy.

**Follow us.**

Axel started. He stared at the dancers, and complied. They lead him to an apartment, extracted a key from the blond's pocket, and with their help, Axel settled the boy. He placed some aspirin next to the bed, along with a glass of water. He sat there a moment. Then he placed a hand on the blond's forehead. The boy stirred and Axel withdrew the hand. He was gone before Roxas awoke.

"W-What happened...?" Roxas wondered aloud, but there was no one to answer him. The dancers swayed in a comforting rhythm. Before he knew it, Roxas was asleep again.

It had been two days since Roxas had blacked out – yes, he said _blacked out_ because _fainting_ wasn't bad ass, nor was it the right word. He had no idea how he'd gotten to his apartment. The dancers were there, even more solid than before. It made him suspicious. But school hadn't let out yet, and there'd been nothing – he hadn't seen the men, whom he swore looked like triplets – for the two days he'd searched. When he couldn't find them he'd just sort of collapsed in his apartment. He'd never felt his... _empty_. It wasn't familiar and neither was it welcome. Olette had tried to corner him. Only this time, all his 'friends' had helped her. Roxas found himself proud he'd managed to evade the sure doom that would of transpired, had he been caught. _Tomorrow_, Roxas reminded himself. _Tomorrow school lets out, winter break._ He sighed. _Just hold on till then... just a little longer._ He wasn't sure even that short amount of time, two weeks free, would be enough time to resolve the turmoil within him. He sure hoped so. Doubt clenched at him like teeth and claws.

Seven months. It was that long before Roxas caught a whiff of the red heads again. He saw the familiar unearthly colored hair entering Crossroad Café, naturally being himself Roxas slunk to the window and watched in a sneaky fashion. He didn't intend to barge in again. To his sadness it wasn't the spiky red head. Long hair went down to his shoulders, his green eyes danced with laughter as he talked on his cellphone. Roxas felt the pang – that was quickly becoming familiar – in his chest. He touched his heart. Turning away from the window he missed the red head turning to him. Roxas shoved his hands in his pockets. His head lowered, a warm wind ruffling his hair.

"You're that kid, aren't you?" Roxas turned. His heart almost stopped. There was Green eyes #3, standing there, so reachable. It made his heart thunder as he traced the details of this man, eyes hungry.

"Yeah... who're you?" Roxas asked. The man observed him dryly from his three feet away. Then he stepped closer. Roxas' eyes widened and he made to back away. The man's hand resting on his cheek stopped him. Time froze. The man smiled wryly.

"Lae." Roxas ducked his head to hide the grin. What kind of name was that? He wasn't aware he'd said it aloud until Lae responded. "Don't know, what kind of name is Roxas?" Blushing, Roxas looked away. He muttered an apology. Lae watched him a moment, then let his hand fall from Roxas' cheek, letting it rest on his shoulder. "Who are you... Roxas?" The question made said boy look up sharply. He stared into Lae's eyes. His were confused, Lae's – curious.

"... I don't know." Roxas whispered, looking away. Lae sighed and pressed something into Roxas' hand, then the pressure lessened then vanished. Roxas looked up to see Lae was gone. Roxas felt his eyes drift down to his hand, it curled around a piece of paper with a phone number on it.


	3. Two

Roxas didn't breathe until he'd gotten home. Now he lay on his bed gasping. The phone number was still in his hand, crumpling further as Roxas clenched that hand. Sighing he sat up and stared at that hand. He unclenched his hand and flattened out the phone number. It was smudged slightly. Roxas sat there, pondering if he should call it or not. In the end he grabbed his black cellphone and dialed. After four rings his nerves almost made him hang up. The fifth ring was interrupted. The rest was foggy. Before he knew it, Roxas was staring at his wall, the other line on his cellphone dead. He had no idea what happened. He let his hand fall to his lap and he stared at the phone, not understanding. He lifted it to his ear a moment – but the line wasn't any less dead. There was no other voice, only his heart beating furiously.

Four months later.

"..." Roxas glared at the opposing wall. Then he glanced upward. God hated him. Now he knew it for sure, a red headed green eyed enigma... just then his older brother walked in. The younger blond almost had a heart attack.

"C-cloud!" He shouted. The older – regrettably – moved aside and revealed a happy brunette next to an older scowling brunette.

"Guess who's visiting." Cloud remarked dryly, jerking his thumb at the pair. "I'll give you one guess." Roxas stared at him, muscles tensing. He began to tremble. Then he walked forward – into the wall – and rammed his head into it a good three times. Sora's face became shocked, he attempted to stop his cousin, but couldn't make it past Cloud. He turned back and politely asked Cloud to repeat that. "Sora and Leon are visiting."

"How long?" Roxas asked equally as polite. Cloud twitched unhappily.

"Two weeks." Roxas slammed his forehead again. Then he stumbled out of the room. "Where are you going?" Cloud asked, concerned. Roxas managed to dodge his cousins on the way to the door.

"Pharmacy." Cloud blinked.

"... what for?" He asked, both curious and suspicious.

"Supplies." Roxas said shortly, then the door shuddered in its frame from sudden abuse. Sora was... Roxas shuddered. Leon was fine but Roxas avoided his little cousin with a will that made it seem like Sora had the plague. Hopefully the brunette would end up calling his friends to come – like last time, when Roxas had ignored him to the point of not knowing Sora existed somewhere between the fourth and fifth day. The realization he just might, made the blond brighten somewhat.

He was almost normal when he got to the pharmacy, but it all crashed and burned when he saw Olette in line. He spasmed and hid behind a shelf. She left only moments later – which Roxas was thankful for – but he got strange looks from a few customers as he emerged and breathed in relief. The clerks only laughed. Roxas picked up about four bottles of extra strength painkillers. He pursed his lips, then added cough medicine, band aids, bandages, a boat load of cosmetics, some provisions (he'd get more at the grocery store later) and gum. A moment later he added hair gel. The clerk he chose to ring up at laughed again, seeing the pile of 'supplies' as Roxas named them, that the blond piled on his counter. Roxas gave a grim smile.

"Cousins." He told the pharmacy clerk. He told the grocery store clerk the same thing, after he placed a large order on the counter. Two construction helmets, a mass of cosmetics/hair care things, enough food and drinks for a year (Roxas style) and 'keep out' signs in various forms. He also mentioned the cousins to the final store owner, while placing an order consisting of: an original iPod, a million or so songs, various art supplies and new clothes. See, it wasn't all just because Sora and Leon were visiting, that Roxas went through such precautions. No, he was taking a few courses for school, most of them were online. Photography, Art and Cooking weren't however, and he was running low on clothes and other items that weren't mentioned, but he bought.

"Cousins..." Roxas muttered as he opened his door, balancing a couple bags on his hip, and sporting a few around his arms. Sora almost succeeded in glomping Roxas. ALMOST. The glomping was to be avoided at all costs, it was unnecessary contact, as well as unnecessary loss of air. Roxas hissed at his cousin and retreated into his room. It was his apartment, he thought mournfully. Then he stuck his head out his door.

"Cloud! They are NOT staying here, you hear me!? I will kick them out into the street if you don't!" Roxas shouted. Then he coughed. His voice was going hoarse from being used so much. His phone rang.

"... fuck." Roxas muttered. "Cloud, get that!" To his horror, it wasn't his brother who answered.

"Hello? Miterashi residence, Sora speaking." Sora stated smartly. Roxas shuddered. "Mh-hm, no I don't live here, just visiting. Oh, Okay. Roxas! An Axel's calling for you!" Sora shouted. Roxas bolted for the phone. He managed to tear it from Sora's grip and get back to his room in record time – even for him. He sighed.

"Roxas...?" Axel asked. "What's up, you sound frazzled." Roxas gave a shaky laugh.

"You have no idea how much I hate my family." He said, kicking the door. Sora squealed from the other side. "Get away from my door Sora!" Roxas shouted. His voice cracked and he coughed. "... damn..." He wheezed.

"Whoa, you must really be upset." Axel remarked. "Do you need me to come over?" Roxas wheezed again.

"N-not the best idea ever... but the best I've heard all day." Roxas told him. He didn't hear anything, but he could tell Axel was grinning. Roxas smiled in spite of himself.

"Alright, Roxy I'll be over in ten minutes." Axel told him. Roxas hung up, knowing that the red head would rush over here, and be early. He'd probably run and get here in half the time. Not that Roxas really minded all that much.

"... hey Roxas...?" Sora asked through Roxas' door. "Who's Axel?" Roxas coughed.

"N-none of your business..." He coughed violently. Sora made a distressed noise.

"Roxas? Roxas are you alright?" He asked. Roxas bit down on his lip. He tried not to cough. His attempt failed and another violent burst of coughs escaped. Sora knocked on the door. He was becoming frantic. The knocks erratic. "Roxas? Roxas, let me in, come on... Let me in!" Sora shouted. Roxas didn't move. Instead he curled up on his bed, fetal. Sora jiggled at the handle, but it didn't come undone. There was a knock at the front door. Moments later Axel's voice floated into Roxas' ears.

"Roxy? It's Axel, I'm coming in, Okay?" He didn't wait for an answer. He never waited. Roxas wondered briefly if he really minded as arms wrapped around him. Sora made a nose from the doorway. Axel wrinkled his nose, got up, went over to the door, then closed it in Sora's expectant face. Roxas gave a bitter laugh. Axel turned and pounced on him. That bitter laugh became a real one as he wriggled under the older man. He was pinned. Axel smirked down at him, then caught sight of Roxas' 'supplies'. He raised both eyebrows and looked back at the blond.

"Isn't that a bit much...?" He asked. "Just for your cousins?" Roxas laughed.

"I needed to go shopping anyway." He told Axel, who grinned. The red head removed himself from Roxas' lap and went over to investigate. Roxas twisted onto his side, hand on his hip. The other went to support his head. He regarded Axel shrewdly. Axel laughed an put on a helmet. He turned and began to pose ridiculously, making Roxas giggle. Sora knocked on the door.

"... Roxas...?" He asked, still worried. Now more so – Roxas never laughed. Never. Sora had never heard his cousin giggle, or snort or do anything to show amusement. He'd never even seen the boy smile. Now he was laughing with 'Axel', Sora wanted to know who this 'Axel' was. "Roxas?" He asked again. He heard a groan from inside. A second later he was faced with an annoyed Roxas. Axel came over and wrapped his arms around Roxas' shoulders, making soothing noises. Roxas sighed.

"What!" He asked Sora sharply. Sora flinched.

"A-are you alright...?" He asked. His bright smile wasn't apparent – not that Roxas cared – it was more fitting, for one of the Miterashi clan anyway.

"Why wouldn't I be!?" Roxas demanded. Sora's eyebrows drew together.

"I've never heard you laugh..." He told Roxas. This made the red head's eyebrows shoot up again, vanishing behind the visor of the helmet. He glanced down at Roxas.

"He never laughs?" He asked disbelievingly. He laughed. His fingers suddenly danced up and down Roxas' sides. The blond gasped then giggled, twisting away from the red head. He mock glared. Axel smirked then advanced. Roxas felt his eyes widen so he turned to flee. Axel attached himself to Roxas' legs. His sudden weight tripped the blond, giving the red head an opening to crawl up Roxas' body. He let the blond twist around to face him. A pout met his glowing eyes. He laughed again. Roxas grinned in spite of himself.

"Jerk," He stated, jerking his chin away. Axel captured that chin, forcing their eyes to meet. He shook his head, smiling.

"You don't mean that, Roxy." He murmured. Roxas shook his head, sighing, and he pulled Axel down on top of him. He wrapped his arms around Axel, shaking his head into the man's chest. His grip tightened suddenly.

"No, I don't." He whispered. Axel smiled – softer than before, holding no trace of mockery – and curled up against the blond. They lay there and listened to the sound of the other's heartbeats. Sora stared. Leon and Cloud walked in at that point and ruined the tender moment.

"R-Roxas!" Cloud yelled backing up a few steps. Leon stepped forward in a curious manner.

"... he's cute, I'll give you that." Leon said with a shrug. Cloud's face was going through an interesting range of emotions. Roxas sighed.

"When did my apartment not become mine?" He wondered idly. Axel laughed and got to his knees. He pulled Roxas and himself to their feet. Roxas suddenly grabbed Axel's hand and pulled him back into the bedroom, scowling at his relatives before smirking.

"If you value your sanity, leave. Now." He bit out. Then the door slammed shut.

Roxas felt his breathing hitch. His head tilted back. Axel's trickster fingers traced his own chest, he squirmed on Roxas' hips, grinding together their cocks. Roxas bit back his half scream. His eyes squeezed shut, muscles tensing from need. There was a momentary chill from waist down, until Axel slipped fingers into him. The motion soon had Roxas heated up again, sweat dripped down his skin. Axel grinned gasping as he ripped off his own jeans. Roxas lifted his legs to the man's shoulders eagerly. Axel almost laughed, instead he groaned and thrust in. Roxas moaned. Loudly. Each trust Axel tortured him with was unbearably slow. Roxas thrust upward and met the man's slow with his erratic. Axel gasped and gripped the sheets. He quickly increased the friction, giving up on torturing the both of them. White-hot pleasure spread through them. Axel leaned down, licking off some of Roxas' sweat. He nipped at the blond's nipples. Roxas raked his fingers through Axel's hair roughly, clenching his fingers at times.

Leon gave a quick good-bye to Cloud and dragged his confused brother out the door.

"Leon! I don't understand, where are those sounds coming from?" He asked. Leon bit his tongue.

"Roxas and this Axel." He told Sora who – sadly – looked only more confused.

"Why would either of them be making those sounds?" He asked. Leon slapped his forehead.

"For the same reason Riku ambushes you. Sex, don't act all innocent, you know what they're doing." Leon told his brother seriously. Sora looked thoughtful.

"How long have you known?" He asked quietly. Leon sighed.

Roxas screamed. He fell away from Axel and himself with a soft sigh of content. Axel gave a choked scream a second later. The two collapsed against each other and Axel pulled the covers around them, before Roxas snuggled up to him. They ended up asleep not long after. Cloud, twitching, poked his head in. He couldn't deny how cute they looked, or how sweet it was that the man was still there. He didn't appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. Cloud almost smiled. ALMOST. Maybe this Axel wasn't a horrible choice...

Morning cut through Roxas' cracked curtains. It fell onto an empty bed, the sheets rumpled and half off so they trailed onto the floor. Steam wafted from under the door of the bathroom, it was almost like mist at how thick it was. The mirror was fogged, the tiles slick. Roxas exhaled and leaned back against the cold tiles behind him. He gazed blankly at the steam nozzle. He decided he loved it. Then he tentatively stretched. Good, his back didn't kill him and he got to his feet, testing his balance. When he deemed himself not a walking hazard – to himself of course – he stepped from the shower. He walked carefully on the floor tiles. He managed – without slipping – to make it to the bedroom outside. He looked at the body sleeping. Red hair spilled brilliantly across his sheets. Roxas smiled, watching the man sleep, then proceeded to his hamper. He turned away and pulled on his clothes. Looking back, his head gave a painful start. He clutched it.

_Roxas watched the sleeping man with a soft resign. He slipped from the bed, then from the room. He padded along the hall, checking his watch, knowing that the other members wouldn't give him the time of day, or anything else – for that matter. He almost groaned when his watch read: 12:16 PM. Was mind blowing sex really worth the lack of sleep? He wondered. Shaking his head at his own stupidity, he opened his door and entered – quiet as a mouse._

"Roxas?" Said blond straightened. He gazed at Axel, spread across his bed lounging in total peace. Roxas smiled. Axel smiled in relief, his worry creases flattening. "Mornin'," He said gruffly, looking away. Roxas laughed and walked over to lay next to the still bare man. He snuggled against Axel's smooth, broad chest. Axel let his arm slip around the younger, trailing his long fingers through silky blond tresses. He blinked when the younger grabbed him, holding on viciously. Roxas inhaled. "Rox?" Axel asked. "You okay Rox?"

"I-I'm not sure." Roxas whispered. His lower lip trembled. Axel bit his own then flung his arms completely around him, trapping him in a breath stealing hug. Then he squeezed, lightly, but in assurance. Roxas squeezed back, tighter and full of desperation.

"Man, I didn't hurt you did I? I'm sorry – I, I'll make it up to you I promise! Don't cry, oh man... Rox..." Axel panicked. Roxas laughed suddenly. Axel thought this was about last night? Honestly. Roxas buried his head in Axel's chest and laughed. He listened the the man's heartbeat. It was there, sure. Beat after beat. Suddenly it felt like his head was being split in two. Roxas cried out, clutching his head. He curled up, with Axel trying to find out what was wrong.

_Roxas straddled Axel. He unzipped his friend's uniform, holding his hand against the other's chest. There was nothing. He returned that hand to his own chest. _Why...?_ Roxas wondered. His hands clenched into fists. His lips trembled and his head dropped to his chest. Axel reached up, touching Roxas' chest. That hand froze. Beneath the skin beat a heart, an extremely real heart. Roxas shuddered when Axel pulled the younger into a hug. He felt himself loosing control. He wrapped his arms fiercely around the red head, burying his head in his chest. Axel traced random shapes onto his shoulders, down his spine. He whispered sweet nothings into Roxas' ears. The question hung in the air like poison._How long?

Roxas sobbed brokenly. Axel rubbed his shoulders, fingers making random shapes. Those fingers trailed down Roxas' spine. He murmured nothing into Roxas' ears. Suddenly Roxas shoved Axel away, then grabbed his neck. He pulled the read head close. He kissed him passionately, eyes closing letting the rough followings allow. Axel stiffened then moved against Roxas tentatively. He caught the younger boy's arms, holding them with his large hands. Roxas took out all his anger, sadness and confusion on Axel's lips, brusing them well. He drew back, hiccuping. Axel brushed away the stray tears. Eyes concerned. Something flashed, gone in a second, through Roxas' mind. The vision of Axel in a black coat. He shoved the man down onto the bed. He straddled him and felt his chest. A heartbeat. Roxas felt his fingers curl into fists. Then he began to beat Axel's chest – his emotions weakening each blow by far more than they should.

"Why! Why, why, why, why!?" He grabbed Axel's face. Kissed him violently, then drew back. He stared into Axel's eyes. "What the hell are you doing to me?" He whispered. "What are you doing to me...?" He broke off, falling against the chest before him: exhausted. Axel closed his eyes.

"You're seeing it too then?" He wondered aloud. "Flashes of people you don't know, of places you've never been to, or... a place that doesn't even exist." Roxas nodded weakly. "Since when?" Roxas thought.

"I've always seen small flashes, just like an image of a person, or a place." He told Axel. "It wasn't until I met you that-" He broke off. "That I started to see things – moving things – memories almost. Axel watched the blond, ignoring the door that opened as Cloud peeked in bravely. The older Miterashi zipped from the room, seeing the two on the bed. Together. One naked. Roxas licked his lips, sighing. "What a fucked up world," He murmured. Axel looked at him.

"What?" He asked. Roxas laughed – almost, running a hand through his hair.

"Myde and Demyx. Blond twins, Demyx has the mullet, he plays a guitar just outside of Crossroad Café." Axel blinked. "Myde, he plays with Demyx sometimes, a pianist I think." Axel blinked again. "There's Larene and Larxene, two blond chicks, scary as shit. Then there's you, and Lae and Reno, you all look the same. Minor differences," Roxas waved his hand. "but aside from those... you are like bloody clones." Axel rolled his eyes.

"I resent that." He muttered.


End file.
